April 2023 Newsletter | Perfectionism: A Double-edged Sword

April 3, 2023

Perfectionism is often associated with positive attributes in a person: motivated and hardworking, paying close attention to details, making sure that everything is complete and quadruple-checked. But there’s another side to the story: “hardworking” can become “workaholic,” a focus on details can become an obsessive need for control, and a commitment to everything being absolutely impeccable can result in a fear of failure so strong that the person is actually unable to accomplish the task. 

It’s difficult to say what exactly leads to a negative type of perfectionism. While there are internal drivers, there is also recognition that many external, social factors contribute. It can be difficult to recognize negative perfectionism because it often simply looks like someone is motivated and a high achiever. So what are some signs that perfectionism has reached a point that it is negatively impacting your life? 

Being overly critical

Perfectionists are often highly critical of themselves and others, finding fault in everything. This goes beyond wanting to produce excellent work or doing something extremely well and goes hand-in-hand with…

Having unrealistic standards

While it is admirable to do your very best, in the case of perfectionism the ultimate goal is one that is beyond being possible. “Perfect” is an abstract ideal and in reality something that is not typically achievable. 

Having a fear of failure and/or feeling like a failure

While no one enjoys failing, most of us recognize that failure is a part of life and an important part of learning. When failure occurs, although it may sting a bit, we look at what has gone wrong and try to improve next time (all the while knowing that we may fail again). We understand that failures here and there don’t make us a failure. For a perfectionist, failure is unbearable and to fail at something means that they are also a failure. 

Procrastinating

If you consider these first three attributes of perfectionism, it’s no wonder that procrastination is often a symptom, as well. Perfectionists may delay starting a project or tackling a to-do list because they have imagined an outcome that they simply cannot reach and they are afraid of failing at their goal.

Being overly controlling

Being in control can feel good, allowing us to show that we are capable. But being overly controlling or needing to be in control of everything can have very negative effects in our lives. Perfectionists, believing that only they can see the path to the perfect outcome, may take over in aggressive, unhelpful ways: micromanaging others who are very able to manage themselves, or revising or even doing all of the work on their own.

If these symptoms sound familiar, it may be time to look into ways to treat perfectionist tendencies. Although it may be difficult to admit when perfectionism is negatively impacting your life because of all the positives it also brings, it’s important to seek help. At City Center, our therapists provide Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to assist in overcoming perfectionism. They can help you understand why perfectionism has negative effects on your life, and provide tools and techniques to help treat it, including strategies to help you challenge your thoughts and change your behaviors for the better.