June 2023 Newsletter | Doing Things (When You Just Don’t Want To)

May 31, 2023

Doing things can sometimes seem impossible. Our goals, tasks, and to do lists may seem daunting, far too much to actually accomplish. When something seems so challenging, we can become overwhelmed, fearing the amount of work that will be required and getting stuck before we’ve even begun. But recall a time when you accomplished a goal, big or small: Do you remember how, once you got going, it seemed a bit easier? 

Getting started can often be the hardest part of doing something. We may feel trepidation due to a lack of confidence in our abilities. Or perhaps we think that we won’t like the thing we have to do and thus resent it. Some days we simply aren’t in the mood or are weighed down by depressed and/or anxious feelings. But there are tools that we can use to help get us going.

Break big things down into smaller chunks

This is a classic piece of advice for a reason: If we feel overwhelmed by something we have a difficult time managing it. But most things can be broken down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Let’s say you want to paint a room in your home but have been putting it off because it feels like a huge project. Make a start by listing out the different phases and steps. This might include a Planning phase (making a list of supplies, choosing a color), a Readying phase (acquiring the supplies, removing the furniture and decor, cleaning and preparing the walls), a Doing phase (painting), and a Finishing phase (cleaning up and restoring the room’s items). Once the steps are listed out, the project has a clear roadmap. Including deadlines for the different phases of the project can also be helpful because deadlines create a sense of urgency that keeps the project moving along. 

Look for potential positives

Imagine you’ve been assigned a project at work that sounds awful. It doesn’t interest you in the slightest and it’s going to take forever. If your dislike of the project remains your primary focus then you are going to have a hard time getting it done. But consider if there is any aspect of the project that you do find appealing. If you don’t find the content of the assignment interesting, is there maybe a skill you’ll be able to strengthen as a result of doing it? Even if the project is time consuming and tedious, will having done it create some progress or improvements down the road? 

Don’t wait to feel motivated or inspired, get started in order to find the spark

We have an image that great ideas appear out of nowhere, that inspiration is a lightning strike out of the blue. This image leads us to believe that we should wait for inspiration, for the perfect spark, in order to get started. While it may sometimes be the case that a brilliant idea simply appears, more often those ideas come as a by-product of doing. A common piece of advice for overcoming writer’s block is: write. Sure, what is produced at first might be all wrong, might end up being revised or thrown out, but action begets action and even if you waste some time on work that is ultimately not just right, you are more likely to get to where you want to be if you’re already going. Behavioral Activation (BAT) is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) technique that utilizes this concept of doing to improve mood, rather than waiting until your mood improves to do things. BAT is a helpful tool for learning how to use action to feel better when dealing with both depression and anxiety. 

Our feelings can have a huge impact on our ability to do things, but the reverse is also true and often it’s doing things that makes our mood better when we’re feeling low. The next time you have a task that feels impossible, remember that making a start at it is the hardest part. Once you’ve gotten going, you may be feeling a lot better.